Ways to Annoy the Crew of the Leviathan
by Zmusic2014
Summary: This is what happens when you leave Bovril alone with a computer and ideas. READ ON PLEASE
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN LEVIATHAN! IT IS AN AMZING BOOK WRITTEN BY SCOTT WESTERFELD**

Bovril was alone at the Zoologoical Society in Alek's room. They had all left on a mission and wouldn't be back until 3 days later. Bovril had nothing to do; he couldn't scare Volger, perch on Deryn or Alek's shoulder or even talk with Dr. Barlow's loris.

An idea came to Bovril's head. He always had ideas of how to annoy everyone on the Leviathan, but he never wrote them down.

Bovril scampered his way to the computer and opened a new document.

The first person to annoy was Deryn Sharp.

_20 Ways to Annoy Deryn Sharp _

_1. Tell her that the Leviathan is no place for a girl_

_2. Call her _Mr. _Sharp_

_3. Replace all her trousers with skirts_

_4. Tell her that Newkirk is her lover_

_5. Tease her about liking Alek_

_6. Tell her Volger is her long lost father_

_7. Tell her Dr. Barlow is her future self_

_8. Give her hard-boiled eggs that look like potatoes_

_9. Whenever she is with Alek play "Can you feel the love tonight?"_

_10. When she is sleeping put bright blue eye shadow and bright red lipstick on her_

_11. Tell her she is be thrown off the airship immediately unless she makes you a sandwich_

_12. Tell her Fitzroy is madly in love with her_

_13. Tell her that Lilit is Alek's lover_

_14. Tell Deryn that she has as much air sense as a message lizard_

_15. Tell Deryn that the Leviathan doesn't exist and she is going bonkers_

_16. Tell her that Volger is her uncle_

_17. Follow her around and say "Barking Spiders! I didn't know a girl could do that!" to everything she does, then quickly hide_

_18. When she is sleeping draw a pair of goggles on her forehead_

_19. Tell her that Alek is her brother_

_20. Tell her that Alek and Newkirk are lovers and that Alek was only with Deryn to make Newkirk jealous_

Bovril smiled at his work. He saved the file and started a new one.

But who is the next victim?

Bovril smiled as he typed in Alek's name.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I AM NOT THE AMAZING SCOTT WESTERFELD. If I was I would be writing a fourth book but oh well.**

How to annoy Alek? In Bovril's case, there was a lot of ways.

_How to Annoy Alek _

_1. Tell him that every that has happened is a dream_

_2. Tell him that he is not prince of Austria-Hungary, but the prince of Candy Land_

_3. Convince him that Volger is going to marry Dr. Barlow and they will adopt Alek_

_4. When he is sleeping draw a French mustache on him_

_5. When he is talking to Deryn say "GET MARRIED ALREADY" and quickly run away_

_6. Follow Alek around all day hiding behind a newspaper with two holes cut out_

_7. Tell him that Newkirk is in love with Deryn_

_8. Send Alek love letter that supposedly from Deryn_

_9. Convince him that the Leviathan is talking to him_

_10. Tell him that Dr. Barlow is his mother_

_11. Make him fly in a Huxley_

_12. Blind fold him when he is doing his fencing lesson and leave him in position for an hour_

_13. Sprinkle glitter in his hair when he wakes up_

_14. Call him "daft" after everything he does_

_15. Tell him Newkirk is a girl and single_

_16. Tease him about being a Clanker_

_17. Convince him that Jaspert will come for him if he says something wrong to Deryn_

_18. Make him meet Deryn's family, in a dress_

_19. Tell him that Klopp, Bauer and Hoffman are dwares from Snow White_

_20. Tell him that Deryn is a boy and that he would rather marry someone who isn't a Clanker_

Bovril saved the document. He raked his mind for other people to annoy. When they all returned he would use these on them.

He thought of the perfect person to annoy which was Count Volger.

**A/N: Okay if anyone has any suggestions of how to annoy Count Volger please review! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you everyone who reviewed. I have used some of your suggestions, now here it is. How to Annoy Count Volger!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE MASTERPIECE NAMED LEVIATHAN! IT BELONGS TO SCOTT WESTERFELD!**

Bovril didn't exceptionally like Count Volger, neither did Deryn but they both had to put up with him for Alek's sake.

Oh but how Bovril loved to annoy him.

_20 Ways to Annoy Count Volger _

_1. Tell him fencing is stupid_

_2. Replace all his swords with licorice_

_3. Slap him with a white glove and shout "HOW DARE YOU SIR", then walk away like nothing happened_

_4. Put a message lizard in his trousers_

_5. Dye his mustache hot pink_

_6. Glue his shoes to the floor_

_7. Talk to him with a very obnoxious German accent_

_8. Send him scandalous love letters from Dr. Barlow_

_9. Write "Deryn Sharp is amazing!" on his forehead when he is sleeping_

_10. Follow him around like paparazzi and when you take pictures shout "Work it! Work it!"_

_11. Throw paper airplanes at him during his fencing lessons and yell "DIE GODZILLA DIE!"_

_12. Put oil in his shoes_

_13. Stroke his mustache and say "My precious..."_

_14. Tell him Dr. Barlow is in love with Captain Hobbes_

_15. Tell him Newkirk, Deryn and Alek are lovers_

_16. Convince him that Klopp, Baeur, Hoffman, Alek and he are a boy band named Clanker 5_

_17. Tell him Dr. Barlow is pregnant…. With Klopp's baby_

_18. Shave off his mustache when he is sleeping_

_19. Tell him Dr. Barlow with marry him on February 30__th__, 1915_

_20. Tell him that Deryn is pregnant with Alek's baby_

Bovril was pleased with his work. He thought about who would be his next victim.

Then an excellent person came to mind.

It would be the one and only Dr. Nora Darwin Barlow.

**A/N: Please review if you have any suggestions for how to annoy a boffin!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you everyone who took the time to review! Now drumroll please! *Drum rolls* HOW TO ANNOY DR. BARLOW!**

**Disclaimer: LEVIATHAN IS NOT MINE, sadly…**

Bovril did like Dr. Barlow but sometimes she could be a bit irritable. Besides she took her loris with her. Bovril probably wouldn't use these methods but why not?

_20 Ways to Annoy Dr. Barlow _

_1. Tell her that her fabrications are stupid_

_2. Tell her that she can't do anything since she is a woman and she should be in the kitchen_

_3. Kidnap her loris and teach it bad words_

_4. Feed her loris candy_

_5. Tell her Deryn is pregnant with Alek's baby_

_6. Try to convince her that one of the lorises is pregnant_

_7. Send her scandalous love letters from Count Volger_

_8. Tell her "I know your secret" in a creepy stalker voice then quickly walk away_

_9. Dance with her loris to Friday_

_10. Convince her that her grandfather Charles Darwin is roaming the halls_

_11. Act like Tazza and follow her around everywhere_

_12. Tease her about liking Count Volger_

_13. Convince her that all fabrications she made are just Clanker machines in disguise_

_14. Have Klopp, Bauer, and Hoffman follow her around her around and sing Lady Gaga songs while dressed like Lady Gaga and doing her dance moves_

_15. Replace all her skirts with trousers_

_16. Lock her out of her lab and room_

_17. Keep asking her when she is going to make the gender-bending squirrel and unicorn_

_18. Poke her with a straw when she is trying to fabricate animals_

_19. Tell her that her fabrications aren't real_

_20. Convince her she is pregnant with Volger's baby_

Bovril smiled at his handiwork. His next victim was undecided. It was dark out so maybe he should go to sleep. He scampered over to Alek's bed in the next room. Curled up in a tight ball, Bovril drifted off to sleep.

**A/N: Thank to everyone who reviewed! Now if you have ideas of who to annoy next, push the big review button. I will most likely have it up by tomorrow or Thursday. So PEACE.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you everybody who reviewed! And now time for the next chapter that I promised you. Who is our unlucky victim? Guess you will have to find out!**

**Disclaimer: YOU KNOW WHAT? I DO OWN LEVIATHAN. Just not the characters, the plot, or the money made off of it… Let's say I own the paper. Wait what? I DON'T EVEN OWN THE PAPER!**

Bovril woke up feeling nice and refreshed. He still had some alone time. He could go have fun with the other animals in the Zoological Society or go to the kitchen and eat the various foods that Dr. Barlow would not allow him to eat.

But Bovril had a better idea.

He scampered over to the computer and opened a document. Bovril had already made lists of how to annoy four people.

So who else would be a candidate?

That is when the idea shined on him. Or it could have well been the sun.

But not matter. Bovril knew the perfect person to annoy.

_20 Ways to Annoy Newkirk_

_1. Tell him "I know what you did last night" In a sing-song voice and skip away_

_2. Get a few of every animal on the ship in his room_

_3. Tell him you know he is a girl and it is okay in a really crowded place_

_4. When he is trying to flirt with a girl say to Newkirk in a very loud voice "Where is your wife?"_

_5. Have Tazza and Bovril follow him around all day_

_6. Lock him in his room with some fabrications_

_7. Make him take fencing lessons from Volger_

_8. When he is sleeping put a message lizard in his shirt_

_9. Keep reminding him he inside a flying whale_

_10. Keep asking him "Who's your girlfriend?" and when he replies ask why to everything he says_

_11. Replace his clothes with Dr. Barlow's_

_12. Tell him Alek is in love with him_

_13. Fill his shoes with potatoes_

_14. Follow him around with the song "I'm Newkirk and I know it" (__**just an idea I got from someone**__)_

_15. Convince him that Deryn is his long lost sister_

_16. Call him a Monkey Luddite_

_17. Put a note on his back that says "I LOVE RAINBOWS AND KNITTING; ONE PUNCH IS $5 AND A KICK IS $7!"_

_18. Make him believe that Captain Hobbes is a zombie and the only way to save him is to put bat clart on his face_

_19. Die his hair green and draw hearts and flowers all over his face_

_20. Convince the crew that Newkirk is a girl and he's having Dylan's baby and that they should throw him a baby shower_

Bovril was very happy with this list. He could possible give it to Deryn so that she could use it.

Bovril didn't know who else to annoy. Who else was there to annoy? He didn't feel like thinking more so he scampered to the kitchen to eat the treats that were supposedly 'off-limits'.

He nibbled on a cookie then an idea hit him.

**A/N: Okay if there is anyone you want me to annoy, review! And maybe I can add a bonus chapter where Bovril performs at least 2 or 3 from each list. Something to look forward to.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry that I haven't uploaded in a while I just hoping for a few more reviews but OH WELL. So thank you to the people who did review. And to the people who are following and favorite my story, thank you! And now time for chapter 6!**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Leviathan then I could write a fourth book but oh wells… **

Bovril rushed to the computer with the cookie with him.

How did he not think of this before?

He was the perfect choice and Deryn would love to annoy him.

_How to Annoy Jaspert _

_1. Call him Casper the Friendly Ghost_

_2. Tell him that Deryn is pregnant_

_3. Follow him around and shout "LOOK EVERYONE ITS JASPER CULLEN!"_

_4. Die his hair orange_

_5. Spray paint him purple_

_6. Always tease him about his sister being a better Airman than him_

_7. Tell him Alek isn't scared of him_

_8. Whenever he walks into a room start laughing and pointing at him for no apparent reason_

_9. When he is flirting with a girl ask him if he is over his sickness_

_10. Tell him that Deryn is not his sister_

_11. Put a sign on his back that says "I'm Clanker and I'm PROUD"_

_12. If he is at a bar drinking replace his drinks with kitchen grease_

_13. Follow him around in a black trench coat and dark sunglasses like you're part of the FBI or CIA_

_14. Ask him if he has a girlfriend, if he says yes then shout "WHY ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?" in a crowded place or if he says no then shout "IS IT BECAUSE YOU WET THE BED?" in a crowded place_

_15. Ask him if he is jealous about Deryn and bug him about it_

_16. Call him Jasperella and ask if he is Dylan's older sister_

_17. After every sentence he says ask "How do you feel about that?"_

_18. Fill his shoes with fruit_

_19. Throw Skittles at him and when he asks what you are doing just say "TASTE THE RAINBOW"_

_20. Ask if you can feel his muscles and when you do say "Eh. Alek's are bigger."_

Bovril stared at the screen grinning. He didn't even realize that it was night time. Everyone would be back tomorrow night. Then he could use these on everyone.

He smiled as he curled up on Alek's bed.

**A/N: Thank you everyone who read and reviewed sorry about the delay on this chapter there is one more chapter. Or maybe if I get enough reviews I will add another chapter. Hint hint. Well thank you and see you in the next chapter!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you everyone who has reviewed, read my story and laughed. This has been my first fan fiction ever. If I could I would give you all cookies, cupcakes or brownies! Well sadly this is going to be the last chapter of How to Annoy the Crew of the Leviathan. (Frowny face) But it will be longer. ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Leviathan like so many other people...**

**So without further ado here is chapter 7!**

Bovril did nothing for the day. In fact there was nothing else to do. He didn't have any other people to annoy. And the animals had grown fond of him. He was napping on Alek's bed when he heard the door open.

Could they be back so soon? He thought to himself.

He scampered down the stairs to see that everyone was back. A huge grin spread across his tiny face.

"Bovril!" Deryn shouted. He ran into her arms.

"How have you enjoyed the peace and quiet?" Alek asked.

"Did not like it at all." Bovril said clearly annoyed but happy that everyone was back. Deryn and Alek just laughed at this. Dr. Barlow and Volger were talking amongst themselves. Newkirk and Jaspert were heading outside.

Bovril then decided he should use the lists.

Bovril had already printed the papers. The first paper was Deryn's. Now came the hard part; choosing which things to use to annoy her. After much thought Bovril decided on number 3, 17 and 20.

Bovril went into Dr. Barlow's office and took some skirts from her closet and put them in Deryn's closet. He removed all the trousers and hid them in the kitchen. Deryn barely went into the kitchen anyways.

Then came morning and a very angry Deryn was stomping about. Apparently she was taking her anger out on Alek.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO MY TROUSERS?" Deryn fumed. She was as red and a tomato and Bovril almost expected smoke to hiss from her ears.

"Why would I replace your trousers with skirts?" Alek stammered obviously terrified of Deryn at the moment.

At the point Deryn was almost strangling him. They found her trousers in the kitchen and Dr. Barlow took back her skirts.

Time for number 17. Bovril followed Deryn around careful that she didn't see him. She had stopped in the hallway to talk to a boffin.

"Barking spiders! I didn't know a girl could do that!" Bovril exclaimed and quickly hid in a doorway. Deryn had turned around and searched for the person. Bovril chuckled to himself.

She walked to Volger's room for her fencing lesson that Alek insisted that she took. She was standing with her sabre forward standing in the position that she usually mocked Alek for.

"Barking spiders! I didn't know a girl could do that!" Bovril shouted. He then ran under the bed.

"All right who is saying that? You better come out right now!" Deryn yelled obviously mad.

Bovril waited until she was gone to crawl out from under the bed. Number 17 was going to be a bit tricky but it was sure going to be funny.

Bovril scampered to the desk and found a paper. He was always watching Alek write so this would be easy.

_Dear Deryn,_

_Newkirk has finally confessed his love to me. And I will leave you for him. The only reason we were together was to make him jealous. And it worked. So when we get married we will make you the Maid of Honor._

_Alek_

Bovril signed Alek's name at the bottom. He folded the paper and set it nicely on Deryn's bed. Bovril hid under her bed and waited. She came in about 10 minutes later.

"Oh a letter from Alek." Deryn said. Bovril knew she was reading it. He heard her crumple the paper and throw it on the ground. She then picked it back up and was stomping her way to the dining room. Bovril ran behind her.

Newkirk and Alek were sitting at the table talking when Deryn arrived.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Deryn yelled.

"Well hello to you too Deryn." Newkirk said. Deryn grabbed him by the collar and held him up.

"STAY AWAY FROM ALEK!" she yelled.

"Deryn what are you talking about?" Alek said. Deryn dropped Newkirk and handed Alek the note keeping her eyes on a terrified Newkirk. Alek read the note. His face went as white as the paper. "I didn't write this." Alek insisted.

Bovril began laughing. Everyone glared at him.

"BOVRIL!" Deryn yelled. He ran and hid from her. Now it was time to annoy Alek.

* * *

Bovril got out Alek's list. He decided after much thought to use number 4, 6 and 13.

Bovril ran to Alek's room with a black marker. He perched up on the headboard. He gently and swiftly began to draw the mustache. Alek was a heavy sleeper. Bovril could have drawn all over him without him waking up. As soon as he was done he threw the marker out the window and slept next to Alek.

Morning came and Alek had woken up. He went straight to breakfast with Bovril on his shoulder. Alek greeted the boffins and other people in the halls. They all gave him confused looks. Some even laughed they passed by.

They arrived in the dining room. Deryn was already there eating. Newkirk was as well. Alek sat down and began to eat. Deryn and Newkirk had stopped eating and were staring at Alek. Alek looked up at them.

"What are you two staring at?" Alek asked.

"Um nothing." Deryn said then quickly went back to eating with a smile on her face.

"Nothing." Newkirk said with a big smile. Alek went back to eating. He lifted up his spoon and then saw the mustache on his face.

"WHO DID THIS?" Alek screeched. Bovril, Deryn and Newkirk were laughing while Alek was fuming.

Number 6 was going to be fun. Bovril thought. He found a newspaper and cut out two holes for his eyes. Alek had scrubbed the marker from his face. Bovril followed him around. Alek looked back a few times at Bovril while they were walking.

"Bovril what are you doing?" Alek asked. Bovril crumpled up the paper and threw it in Alek's face.

Bovril stayed perched on Alek's bedframe with a bag of glitter he got from Dr. Barlow. Bovril took out a handful waiting for Alek to wake up. Alek opened his eyes and sat up Bovril sprinkled the glitter on Alek's head. He dropped the bag and ran away as quick as possible.

* * *

It was time to annoy a certain Count Volger.

Bovril looked at the list. He wanted to do all of them but that would take too much time. After a while of thought he chose number 9, 11 and 13.

Bovril scampered to Volger's room. He was asleep and snoring loudly. Bovril managed to get another marker. He carefully perched on the bedframe and wrote the sentence on his forehead. Deryn would be most pleased with this.

He ran to Deryn's room and slept. Tomorrow morning was going to be a riot.

Volger woke up and was yelling. He stormed into Deryn's room where she and Alek were discussing paper. Or at least that's what Bovril thought they were doing.

"DERYN!" he shouted. Deryn and Alek were laughing at what Volger's forehead had said. "Why are you two laughing? This is serious!"

"Well that is very true. I am amazing!" Deryn said. Volger stalked out of the room furious.

Bovril had made about 20 mini airplanes and was sitting on Volger's desk while Alek was in his fencing lesson. Bovril was always bored when Alek was fencing. He held up a paper airplane and aimed at Volger.

"DIE GODZILLA DIE!" Bovril threw the airplanes at Volger. He was glaring at Bovril who kept throwing airplanes. Alek had moved out of the way and was laughing at Volger who was trying to deflect the papers with his sabre.

"YOU LITTLE RAT!" Volger yelled at him. Bovril scurried away and hid in Deryn's room.

It was dinnertime and also time for number 13. Alek usually sat next to Volger at lunch so this would be simple.

Volger was talking to Dr. Barlow about something. Alek, Deryn and Newkirk were in a conversation wondering who was behind the pranks.

Bovril scurried up Volger arm and perched on his shoulder. Volger didn't seem to mind. Bovril stroked his mustache.

"My precious…" Bovril whispered. Volger and Dr. Barlow had stopped talking and were staring at Bovril. He jumped off his shoulder and ran.

"What in blazes was that?" Volger said. Bovril's work here was done. Tomorrow he would start on annoying Dr. Barlow.

Tomorrow was sure to be a fantastic day.

**A/N: Well sorry that I couldn't fit everything in one chapter. The second part with be up tomorrow! If you have any favorites from the list of Dr. Barlow, Newkirk and Jaspert, please review and choose 2 or 3 and I will pick the most popular ones. THANK YOU AGAIN!**


	8. Chapter 8

**So people who have reviewed. Thank you lots. Gracias. Merci. And I would say it in every other language I sort of know but there wouldn't be enough space. So this really is the last chapter. *crowd boos*But this will not be last fan fiction obviously. I will tell you more about it and the end of this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Come on if I really did own Leviathan would I really be writing fan fiction? Sadly I don't so here I am! **

Bovril got up bright and early. He would need a head start. He looked at the list and tried to figure out which ones to use. Then after much consideration, he chose number 3, 8, 15. He would need to hurry if he wanted to have time to do number 3.

Bovril took Deryn's backpack and headed to Dr. Barlow's office. There was a little door in for the loris's to walk through. Bovril ran in and searched for the other loris. It was asleep on the chair at the desk.

He crept up and opened the bag. He would have to be careful. Dr. Barlow was not a heavy sleeper. He quickly shoved the loris inside and ran out of the room before the loris could register what was happening.

They went to an empty room. Bovril let the other loris out.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" the loris exclaimed.

"Voice down!" Bovril hissed. The loris nodded and sat down. "Repeat after me. Barking spiders!"

"Barking spiders!"

"Bum-rag covered in clart!"

"Bum-rag covered in clart!"

"Dummkopf!"

"Dummkopf!"

Bovril taught the Bovril more and more of Deryn's infamous sayings. Dr. Barlow very much disliked how Deryn talked. She often said it wasn't lady-like of her. The other loris left and went back to Dr. Barlow's office. Bovril went to and hid in the rafters.

An hour later the boffin woke up. The loris was sitting on the desk looking at her.

"Morning loris." she said.

"Get stuffed!" the loris said. Dr. Barlow stared at the loris.

"Where did you learn that kind of language?"

"Sodding boffins." It said.

"DERYN!" Dr. Barlow yelled. She stormed out of her room in search for the girl. Bovril chuckled to himself and decided to start the next number.

Dr. Barlow was walking down the hallway near the wall. _Perfect._ Bovril thought. He scampered up the wall and followed behind her. She had calmed down from this morning so she wouldn't be expecting this.

"I know your secret." Bovril said in a shrill creepy voice. He ran off and hid behind a chair. Dr. Barlow turned around rather confused and turned red. She picked up her skirts and ran. Bovril chuckled and ran to her room. Number 15 would have to start later.

It was night time when Bovril entered her room. It needed to be dark so that he could move her skirts from her closet. They were big and very heavy to carry.

"Help?" the loris said behind him. Bovril nodded. They carried the skirts to Alek's room. Now Alek was a heavy sleeper so he wouldn't hear the loris's. They stuffed the skirts under the bed. They moved them all there. They went to Volger's room and took a pair of his trousers. They hung the one pair in the closet.

Bovril lied in Deryn's bed waiting for Dr. Barlow to wake up. Then out of nowhere a high pitched scream rang through the halls. He smiled and scampered away.

It was time to annoy Newkirk.

* * *

Bovril wished he could use all the things on the list. But he couldn't since they weren't on the Leviathan and he didn't have the time. So he would use number 1, 3 and 8.

It was breakfast time when Bovril saw Newkirk walking in with Jaspert. He would need to get Newkirk alone for this one. Jaspert sat down to eat. Newkirk said he had to go see a boffin quick. Bovril then saw his chance. He ran to Newkirk.

He scurried up his arm and sat on his shoulder.

"Hello Bovril, how have you been?"

"I know what you did last night." Bovril sang. He jumped off his shoulder and skipped down the hall. Bovril hid behind a vase when he wasn't looking. Newkirk was all sorts of confused.

Number 3 would have to wait until they were in a really crowded place. And tonight there was going to be a party. Bovril had a very good amount of luck these days.

Newkirk was in the middle of a big crowd when Bovril found him. He crawled up his arm and sat on his shoulder.

"I know you're a girl and its okay." Bovril says loudly so that everyone can hear. Bovril smiles and crawls to the floor. He can hear people whispering and he can almost feel Newkirk's nervousness.

Bovril went to Dr. Barlow's office and grabbed a message lizard. It was probably 3 in the morning and Newkirk was passed out. He went to Newkirk's room and jumped up onto the bed. Newkirk was snoring obnoxiously and drooling. Bovril opened Newkirk's shirt and put the message lizard in.

Bovril hid under the bed just before Newkirk woke up.

"AHH! GET THIS THING OUT OF MY SHIRT!" Newkirk yelled. Alek and Deryn appeared at the doorway. Jaspert staggered in with them.

"What happened now Newkirk?" Deryn asked. She was clearly tired and didn't appreciate the yelling.

"LIZARD IN MY SHIRT!" Newkirk exclaimed.

"Oh calm down." Jaspert said. He went up to Newkirk and took the lizard out from his shirt. The lizard was terrified and it ran as soon as Jaspert released it. Everyone left the room and went back to sleep in their beds. Newkirk lied in bed with the covers up to his chin. It looked like he wouldn't be sleeping for the night.

Bovril ran to Jaspert's room. He took out the list for Jaspert. It would be harder to annoy him. He wasn't that easy to fool but he chose number 2, 7 and 19.

He would need to include Alek and Deryn in on this prank since he couldn't do it alone. Bovril wandered into their office and found them sitting at the desk.

"I need help." Bovril said. Alek and Deryn turned around and looked at the loris. He scrambled up to the desk and sat down in front of them.

"Help with what?" Deryn asked.

"Convince Jaspert that Deryn is pregnant." Bovril said. Alek looked utterly confused but Deryn was smiling.

"What do I need to do?" Deryn asked. Bovril smiled and explained the plan to her.

Alek and Deryn sat at the dining room table looking at a magazine of baby clothes.

"We still need to save up for the crib and the stroller." Deryn said loudly so that Jaspert who was sitting at the end of the table could hear. He wasn't paying attention he was too bust staring at the ceiling.

"I know but think in just nine months she will be here." Alek said. That is when Jaspert finally looked at them. He stood up and walked towards them.

"DERYN YOU'RE PREGNANT?" Jaspert yelled. He was about to grab Alek by the shirt when Deryn stopped him.

"Of course not we were only messing with you." she said. With one swift move she grabbed the magazine and Alek's arm. Bovril stayed behind and blinked at Jaspert. He might as well get number 7 in.

"Alek isn't scared of you." Bovril said to him. Jaspert narrowed his eyes at the loris.

"He should be." Jaspert muttered.

"Not at all. He thinks you're too soft." The loris said. It jumped off the table and ran to Deryn's room. Bovril could hear Jaspert yelling. 'TOO SOFT!' Bovril smiled and went to Newkirk's room to get the skittles.

When Bovril found Jaspert again he was sitting in the dining room looking over sound paper. Bovril climbed up the table and sat in front of Jaspert.

"Hello Bovril." Jaspert said. Bovril took out the skittles and started to throw them at Jaspert. Jaspert stood up and tried to deflect them. "What are you doing?" he stammered as Bovril continued to ambush him with candy.

"TASTE THE RAINBOW!" Bovril shouted. He dropped the bag of skittles and ran. He went to Alek's room and lied down to nap on his bed. Bovril closed his eyes. He could hear people coming in.

"So Bovril was behind all the pranks?" Deryn said.

"I wonder when he had the time to write these." Alek said.

"He must have done it when we were gone." Newkirk said.

"How about next time we don't leave Bovril home alone with a computer?" Deryn said.

"Agreed." Alek and Newkirk said.

He could feel Deryn petting his head. Bovril just smiled and went to sleep.

**A/N: So this is the conclusion. Tell me how I did. And the new story I'm working on is going to be a crossover. It is the Leviathan chracters in the Hunger Games. Well I skipped straight to the last book which is Mockingjay. And there are a lot of things that are going to happen. NO SPOILERS FOR YOU. So just keep watch for it. It will be called Mockingjay: Leviathan Style.**

**So please review or comment! See you all laters.**

**~Z**


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